Clueless

Last night I was thinking about what to do today. I feel so clueless about what's going on. I mean I don't know it's probably just a phase but yeah, I don't know what I would be doing today. I don't know what I'll be doing the following days and I don't know what to do period. It seems as if I want to do a lot of things but I can't figure out what to do first? What I'll actually do and if I can really do the things I'm thinking about doing. 


Last night I was asked by my cousin to buy lemons for the lemon squares we were to bake supposedly today but then I told him that I was unsure about it because I wanted to go out. Thing is I don't know what my friends are planning today. Also, I want to finish all the materials for our business launching. Please like our page when it's published :D thanks lots!


Anyway maybe I'm feeling more clueless now because I just woke up and I still feel groggy. I didn't really wake up the time I feel like waking up. You know that feeling when you just wake up because you've had your dose of sleep for the night? I can't really explain it well, but sometimes when you wake up you feel refreshed and you feel your sleep time was just right. Today wasn't like that at all, my sleep has lately been messed up but at least I get to sleep earlier and experience insomnia no more. 


There's still a long day ahead of me but then I haven't made any plans yet, maybe bumhood is starting to really sink in. My other friends have told me about their bumhood and because of boredom they hate being bums, maybe this is the first time I'm feeling what they're feeling. I've been enjoying bumhood because I get to do what I want and everything, I feel free but then yeah I still have lots of responsibilities especially finding a job. I don't know if I'm just pressured right now, I don't know if what I'm doing is right, somehow I just want this to be over with.


I want to feel busy and busy because it's important. Maybe I'm just saying this now because I've sunk in my bum period so much so that it has been a long time that I've been one. All my friends, at least the ones I talk to about job hunting have already signed contracts, I'm the one left behind. I don't know if that's probably a good thing for me, or like in general. :|


Feeling lost is not really the best feeling in the world. Especially when you really know where you are but you still feel lost. -.-