Cleaning Lady

If you've read my 'Plus Points' entry, I've mentioned there how bizarre it is that I think of something and something related to that happens later on. Well, yesterday it happened again. I'd like to think of it that way because it makes life more interesting. It might just be coincidence but who knows? I'd prefer to think it that way so as to put more interest in my boring work life. Who am I kidding, slash work off-my boring life.


So I don't know why I felt compelled to clean my workstation yesterday morning. Out of all the mornings I chose to clean my desk, the telephone and my workstation, I had chosen the one morning that would lead to an afternoon of workstation check up. So I didn't need much cleaning done because I already did that in the morning. It was funny though, how the people were in a state of panic, rummaging through their stuff and stuffing their things in their bags and drawers to clean their workstations. And it's always fun to just break out of habit once in a while and see people worry about something other than work even for just 5 minutes.


Anyway, while I was cleaning, I thought about the reason behind why some people clean things. I mean, yes it's not out of the ordinary to clean but I read somewhere that cleaning is somewhat related to a control issue. Maybe that's what made me feel like cleaning my workstation that morning. I think it's almost similar to how people organize things when everything's going wrong in their lives. Cleaning and organization is what people can do when put in situations where they can't control the things that're happening. I think organization and cleaning are outlets for all the things we can't 'organize' and 'clean' in our lives. Sometimes people can't help but feel out of control of the things around them, and because that is the case they tend to organize their things because that's the only thing left they can control. 


I'm beginning to think that I'm such a control freak. I'm uptight and I just feel so lost and vulnerable without control. Vulnerability. I don't know why it's so hard for me. I don't like to be in situations where I can't take control, and maybe it's part of why I find it hard to let loose and be spontaneous. I think without control, I imagine everything going in pieces, it's chaos. I imagine things blowing up and engulfed in flames, and we only have gas to put the flames out with. 


I don't know, maybe in the end we should just have faith. Have faith, that maybe everything won't turn out as bad as we thought things would be and maybe if we're lucky, things would turn out unexpectedly crazy at the same time great. And if it doesn't then so what? It's not like it's the end of the world right? Life goes on. 


We choose our own paths, and maybe sometimes, we shouldn't cloud ourselves with so much worry about what will happen in the future and just live life the way we feel like we should live it. After all, we only live once, right?