Shock face Shmock face

Shock. I was in total shock.

Who knew that this would happen, and of all the people to me? I feel so blessed and at the same time pressured because this is both a great achievement and a burden to later on.

I sat there, with my shock face on. All kinds of crazy thoughts were running in my mind as I was being briefed with what just happened. I wasn't able to focus and concentrate on what they were telling me because I was in such disbelief. I felt my hands getting cold and clammy. The suspense was killing me and when the verdict came out, I was in such disbelief it didn't sink in 'til later on last night.

It was a total 180. It came out of nowhere! I wasn't expecting something like this to happen and now that it did I can't get over it! Still pretty shocked at the moment but now it has sunk in, I'm feeling really nervous and excited at the same time. And of course, the awkward me just had to do the 'Auds' and I wasn't able to give proper feedback. By proper I mean at least give gratitude towards those who believed in me. I hope that I can make it up because I really am grateful. (This is sounding more and more like a speech of some sort haha! pardon my loseristic ways)

I hope that this will motivate me further to do well in the future. I hope I don't get too complacent and I hope that I become better given this. 

I'm actually feeling paranoid now because of the news. I've just been so uninterested and so unmotivated lately that I feel as if I'm onto a downwards spiral of slackhood. I never want to be that person who delivers poor work. I'm feeling pumped up but at the same time, my laziness is just too hard to beat. I hope I don't disappoint now that expectations and stakes are higher.

Wish me luck! Cheers to giving greater effort and working harder in the future.